December 1st, 2018 | by Dylan James Harper

It’s time to start talking about the 2020 primary. I’m so sorry. As we prepare to enter our third year of hell world, the painful resurgence of the 2016 primary looms. All the horrifying posts from your relatives, friends, and that one mixed up weirdo that voted for Bernie in the primary and Trump in the presidential are about to be back baby! Let’s dive right in by talking about some likely candidates and how they can win (and probably lose to Trump).


Joe Biden is the worst possible candidate for the Democrats in 2020. If he wins, literally anybody could have won. If he loses, it’s because he’s a gross #MeToo poster waiting to happen who offers the working class nothing. He could, somehow, win the primary though. For Biden to win either Bernie will have to run along with some other candidate that’s viewed as progressive to split the vote, or Bernie doesn’t run and his only competition is like Corey Booker or fellow likely #MeToo poster Avanetti. This is a nightmare scenario though, as Trump will easily defeat Biden by appealing to his base. Biden doesn’t have a base.


These three are basically the same. They’re a little bit more progressive than Clinton or Biden, but they’re not likely to be that radical. Any one of them could catch on with Democratic voters in the way Obama did, which in hindsight was sort of just an arbitrary reaction to the tepid Clinton. What will be interesting is to see which way they lean to try to appeal to what should be the Democratic base of working class voters. If they lean left and try to emulate Bernie, that’s a positive sign. If they lean right, prepare for four more years of our big wet president.


It probably won’t be Zuckerberg or Oprah, but it could be Bloomberg or that Starbucks guy. I said Biden was the worst case scenario, but that’s only because I don’t think this is that likely. If the Democrats nominate some billionaire to take on Trump, that’ll not only result in a loss, but solidly Trump’s base as the only political option for the working class. What is their path to victory, you might ask? Well, it’s certainly not by actually running a campaign that appeals to people to win votes, it’ll likely be spending millions in the early states shit talking everyone else to try to steal a couple early wins.


Not to relitigate the 2016 primary, but this dude is running. Will he win? Who fucking knows. Some people in the weird leftist space between “actively supporting Kim Jong Un” and Clinton voters, there’s a heap of people that think Bernie will definitely win both the primary and the presidential election easily. That’s almost certainly not true. He benefited heavily from a rare one-on-one scenario against one of the least popular candidates in history. He’ll have more name recognition this time around, but how far that pushes him is a mystery at this point. One thing is certain, if Bernie is going to win, he needs to be viewed as uniquely to the left compared to the other candidates. That means if Warren or someone similar runs, or if one of the tepid Democrats from scenario two push hard to the left, he could be in trouble.


Look, if you don’t think this is a legitimate possibility, you just don’t understand #ClintonMindset at all. She will never stop running. If she doesn’t run in this primary, it’s only because she’s 100% certain she couldn’t win. If there is even a 1% chance though, she’s gonna go for it. If you think she can’t win this primary, let me remind you that you’re in hell world, where everything is made up and the points don’t matter. If Warren, Bernie, and Clinton all run, Warren might peel off just enough of Bernie’s voters to steal a victory. Maybe Warren steals some of her’s, but again, hell world. Will she beat Trump this time around? I actually think she’d have a better chance of winning than Biden, but still probably not.


Dylan James Harper is the Political Editor for CSUITEMUSIC.com
Read more from Dylan at http://www.dylanjamesharper.com

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