I love your column! I am hoping you can give me some advice on a situation that occurred a few weeks ago. I had gone out with my girlfriends to grab a bite and drinks. While waiting on our food and drinks, the topic of body count came up, which left me feeling real uncomfortable. The reason being that I am a 26-year-old woman who has only had two physical partners and my friends could not wrap their head around it. During this conversation, my girlfriends continue to look down upon my decisions about sex and made comments such as "Girl, you probably haven't had real GOOD d***" "You're missing out on life" "You cannot be satisfied with your sex life!" "You need to have sex with at least ten guys to know someone is d****** you down right" were continuously made. Trust me Lovelee, this conversation was longer than it needed to be! I am sitting there now three drinks in, irritated AF, discussing the same subject! Now I'm in my head! I really start to think and contemplate my sex life. Soon after I get a text from my man asking me how my evening is going and how he cannot wait to see me! Then it dawned on me...I am great loving relationship where, they were either in a miserable cheating relationship or only came across men who only wanted one thing. Am I missing out on some type of sexual experience?
2D*s Down and a Lifetime to Go
Hi 2D*s Down and a Lifetime to Go,
F-your friends. In all honesty, you seem like you’ve concluded this issue and effectively too. I don’t know if these women are in miserable relationships or have been cheated on, but what I do know is, my generation has a huge issue with always looking for better. We search high and low, far and wide for something amazing. We get it and think, “this is amazing, I found this, so I can find something even more amazing”. We drop the amazing of the moment and go look for the amazing for the moment after.
If you currently have a man, and he has all of the qualities you need (because there is more needed to hold a relationship together, not just sex) and you don’t find yourself feeling bored, lonely, or unsatisfied all together, then you good!
On your next girls outing, I would suggest not divulging too much into your love life. I say this because you seem on a whole different level than your girlfriends. You seem to be in a serious relationship, where they are just messing around and having fun being single.
Let their love lives be the topic of discussion, while you sit back grateful you don’t have to go through the fuckery they do. I’m single, I can contest that it is fuckery that we go through on a daily. You are definitely not missing out love! Also keep in mind that sometimes our friends think they know more than they really do ;).