DIGITAL DOOMSDAY: ARE MOBILE DEVICES KILLING INTIMACY?

POSTED JULY 24TH, 2017 | BY TALIA DAVIS

You’re in the middle of an exciting story that you’ve been dying to share all day and your boyfriend reaches into their pocket and starts scrolling through their  phone. They assure you that  are “still listening” even though they are obviously fully engaged in something they clearly find more important…It is a lonely feeling isn't it? Yeah. We have ALL been there.

           

            The excessive use of mobile devices isn't just cancerous to our bodies it is also become cancerous to our relationships. There’s even a recently coined term for it, phone snubbing or “phubbing”, and it is a serious problem that atrophies the quality of relationships. This is not a matter of opinion, there is plenty of empirical data to support this fact.  Daily Mail reported 75% of polled women confessed that smartphones were ruining their relationships! I know, I know, women have a reputation for being dramatic, attention seeking and needy (I think superior emotional intelligence and a desire for real intimacy is a more accurate description but hey…. potato tomato right?), however, according to Dr. James Robert, a marketing professor at Baylor University, 46% of 175 both male and female students polled, reported feeling salty about cellular interference in their relationships. Let’s be honest, we really don't need a poll to know this is problematic. I am sure there are many people in our immediate social circle whom would admit that their or their significant other’s obsession with their smartphone aided in the failure of a relationship or two. Don't believe me? You should hear the tales told at a girls night on any given week.

            Of course the concept of  “phubbing” isn’t new, it has just become such an epidemic that it is now the new normal. We live in a time where groups of friends now gather together, apparently for the sole purpose of staring at their phones in a common area. A small child cant hold the attention of its parents or siblings because they are zombified by the glowing screen, how does that shape their developing concept of self-worth? If the person you share your home, bed and life with wakes up every morning and before they can even say good morning, if they say it at all, rolls over and immediately grabs their phone, what does that communicate the other? If you're out on a date and you find yourself surfing the net on your phone, how do you think that impacts the other? Not only is it plain rude, it communicates to them  that either they are not important enough to be heard or whatever you're looking at is more important. Both are hurtful and frankly if texting an absent party or reading an article or liking an Instagram post is more important than engaging with the people you've chosen to share your time with then perhaps you should simply dismiss yourself altogether and reconvene when you are ready to be present. It's just good manners!

If we are honest with ourselves, we will see that we are all guilty of this offense to some degree and modern society has made it normal to ignore what is real and opt for something that is ultimately inconsequential to your immediate life. Lets make a point to be more mindful, it is simple and it is sure to benefit your relationships with those you love.

Talia Davis is a CSUITEMUSIC Blogger 

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