MILLENNIALS LOVE GHOSTING... IS IT RIGHT OR WRONG?
POSTED AUG 7TH, 2017 | BY MICHAELA P. SHELTON
What does it mean to ghost someone? I’m not referring to Ghost from Power, I am referring to the art of ghosting, which is a widespread technique in 2017.
1. The practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.
On Episode 3 of Season 2 of Insecure, Lawrence is invited to a family barbecue by his new bae Tasha. Lawrence seems hesitant to attend the barbecue, but he agrees, because Tasha really wants him to go. Once Lawrence gets there it is obvious that he is uncomfortable. After meeting a few of Tasha’s family members, he leaves the barbecue and goes to a party that he was invited to by his coworkers. Lawrence is enjoying time with his coworkers and he never goes back to Tasha’s barbecue like he agreed to. An upset Tasha calls Lawrence at the end of the night and Lawrence confesses to her that he isn’t looking for anything serious. At this point Tasha goes off on Lawrence about how he “ghosted” her and embarrassed her in front of her family. She concludes by telling him “You a fuck n**** who thinks he's a good dude.” That moment was real AF! Lawrence could of told Tasha he didn’t want to be serious instead of ghosting her but he didn’t. He led her on and his actions were based on what he wanted to do… like a lot of people in this generation, he was being selfish.
Insecure does a great job at illustrating real life situations. We currently live in a generation where people feel like they don’t owe anyone anything, so if they no longer want to deal with someone, they ghost them. Some may agree with this concept and argue that there is nothing wrong with doing this. If someone annoys you or upsets you, why should you feel obligated to respond to them or entertain them? If you stop responding to them they will get the hint that you are done with them, right? Some feel that ghosting is convenient and that everyone should just do it and continue with their lives instead of hitting someone with that awkward “we need to talk”.
On the other hand, some people think that people who ghost are cowards. If you don’t want to talk to someone anymore, why not just hmm I don’t know… man up and tell them you don’t want to talk to them anymore? The least you could do is give someone closure so they aren’t wondering why you are no longer responding to them.
In a perfect world this is the right way to handle a situation. Be an adult and show your maturity by communicating. If you let someone know what is going on, you can end things on a good note and not burn any bridges. However, the thing about this generation is that most people do not care. They would rather be cowards and burn bridges rather than confront an issue. I must admit that I am guilty of doing this.
I recently went on a date with someone. The date went TERRIBLE. The guy was controlling and he tried to give me “rules” when I barely knew him. At the end of the date he mentioned seeing me again and I said “sure just hit me up” but in my head I knew that I would never respond to him again. I went home, blocked him and my life continues. However, ole’ boy is probably wondering what’s going on. Do I feel bad? Not really. If the date would of went differently we would still be talking today. However, it didn’t and he has no one to blame but himself.
Millennials (including myself) need to stop being so ruthless. It is a common courtesy to communicate and we need to step up and be adults. With all this technology it is easier for people to hide behind computers and cell phones and that needs to change. If someone wasn’t interested in you, you would want them to let you know, so do to others as you would have them do to you. Simple as that.
Michaela P. Shelton is Managing Editor of CSUITEMUSIC.com
Read more from Michaela at Darealmichaela1.com